A.J.'s Ebooks & Audio
Touchstone Life Coaching With A.J. Mahari
Each person has a soul. Each soul yearns, often, underneath the everyday lives that
we lead to be much more fully known, felt, and expressed. Our lives have connection and meaning to the universe.
Each life holds sacred purpose. It is in this universal garden of life that life truly is full of new
beginnings. Each new beginning is a further conscious awakening on the journey that is living an examined life.
Size-Acceptance
Life is not a one-size fits all proposition. For many, who do not fit in to society's "thin is in obsession" many issues of self-worth and self-esteem often exist. If you are a person of size, the greatest gift you can give yourself, right now, today, is the gift of radical acceptance.
I, myself, have experience with being a person of size, or more to the point, a person of increasing and decreasing in size. For many of us who are people of various sizes, and who are not thin, the reality of fat phobia and discrimination make an already different and often potentially self-denying, self-invalidating - even self-abusing - situation a much more difficult one.
If you are fat which is a word I use to describe myself and a word I use here with respect because taking it back and owning it, I have found is quite important - you will benefit from examining how it is you truly feel about your weight or your size and more importantly your self.
I have seen, as I'm sure we've all seen, a fat person, who can't stop trying to adjust his or her clothes because his or her discomfort level with him/herself and specifically the size of his/her body is something that may one may not ever really find relief from. I witnessed this in a very public and I think notable way on Rosie O'Donnell's recent Variety Show. So sad that the show just really wasn't very good. At any rate my point is that throughout that show Rosie O'Donnell kept pulling on her sweater. Pulling down, closing it a bit, pulling at it some more. I felt so uncomfortable for her as she obviously isn't comfortable with her own body size. My point in talking about this is to ask you, do you do that? Do you do that and know it or do you maybe have to think about it - could you be doing that type of thing unconsciously?
What's my point? Why would it matter if you do figet with your clothes like that? It is just one very telling visual cue that anyone doing that isn't comfortable with his or her own body size. Which is to say that the person of size fidgeting with his or her clothes (knowingly or unknowingly) is lacking in self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love. It isn't easy, in a fat phobic world, to just "let it all hang out" so to speak. Yet, when one is comfortable with one's body and size it is possible to do just that. It is possible to just be who who you are the size that you are. It is such an empowering and validating experience to be able to just be yourself in a room with others, leaving your clothes to hang as they will freely from whatever circumference your body presents in a way that is not focused on and not worried about.
People of size, in the journey toward their acceptance of their own size, must first to the work of self-examination to find the areas of discomfort and the reason for said. Then they must decide if they want to love themselves regardless. The choice is yours to empower yourself just as you are right now today. Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love do not have to be contingent upon someone else's approval, fitting in to a fat phobic world by being thinner, or holding your life up until you lose "X" amount of pounds. No! You can begin to create the kind of change you most need from the inside out now, just the way you are, at whatever size you happen to be. And you can learn to continue to hold your own esteem, worth, and self-love in spite of the attempts of others to put you down, discriminate against you, or have you feel bad about yourself for just being who you are. You absolutely have a right to be who you are both inside and out.
If you would like to talk to me as your life coach and take the journey to your own size and self acceptance as person of size please contact me at tlc_services@rogers.com
As a life coach I provide a caring, compassionate, safe, confidential, non judgemental, validating and supportive relationship within which clients can feel empowered to explore their present-day needs. I essentially act as a human mirror for my clients. I share with my clients an outside and unbiased perspective as to what I observe in listening to their feelings, experiences, and concerns.
Personal Coaching is not counseling or therapy. It is also not meant to be a substitute for therapy.
If you would like to get more information about my life coaching sevices on the above listed issues or an issue in your life that isn't listed above please email me at: tlc_services@rogers.com
as of June 15, 2004
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